Thursday, July 07, 2005

When I'm King of the Scene: Straight Edge Will Be Defined, Once & For All

When I am King of the Scene, I will assemble a Straight Edge Congress to once and for all determine "what" straight edge "is." I know Ian said "listen, this is no set of rules..." but it's apparent that all of you clearly need a set of rules so that we may finally end decades of annoying and useless debate.

"Can I have sex with someone I care about, or do I have to be celibate? Is being on the pill straight edge? Am I straight edge if I eat meat? What if I'm a vegetarian and not a vegan, does that count? What if I'm in a room where some one is smoking pot and I get a contact buzz? Am I still straight edge? What about prescription painkillers? Edge? Not edge? What if I sip, but don't get drunk. I mean, straight edge is only about intoxication, right? Am I edge if I'm Catholic and I drink the Blood of Christ on Sundays? I love God, but I wouldn't want to break my edge..."

ENOUGH ALREADY! The Straight Edge Congress will debate, vote on, and ratify a Straight Edge Constitution. It will be written in Sharpie pen on acid free recycled paper, and finally signed in the poison free blood of your elected representatives. It will be the law of your Drug Free land (unless the Congress rules that ludes are cool and decidedly straight edge) and you WILL follow that law to the LETTER! (probably the letter "x")

I Have Spoken.

Ronny Little

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