Thursday, November 03, 2005

I Survived the Hardcore Scene and All I Got Were These Lousy T-shirts

Living in New York is expensive as shit. I’ve lived in both Philadelphia and Los Angeles; maintained crappy jobs, but lived somewhat comfortably. New York is different. Rent is triple and jobs are scarce. I had to sell off some of my most-prized possessions during the first few months I lived here - just to eat, have a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Now, simply surviving in this city feels like success. I’ve been here two years and counting and I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

I can’t say hardcore consumes me like it once did. Some of those aforementioned prized possessions I sold were my coveted hardcore records. I still have 99% of them. But the 1% I parted with on those early-hungry days, were the ones that really hurt. Antidote went to Tru from Malfunction records. He was nice enough to include the Thou Shall Not Kill bootleg with the transaction. Others like Urban Waste, AF “United Blood” and The Fix “Jan’s Rooms” have not been replaced and most likely never will be.

At one point in my life, no matter what I saw or heard, I would somehow relate it to hardcore. I’d hear Helmet on the Radio and think “ex members of Straight Ahead”. I’d smell incense burning and think Shelter/Youth Crew. I’d see a bottle of Jolt at 7-11 and think “Wide Awake thanked Jolt for being sold at the Anthrax”. In reality it was just alt-metal listened-to by college kids who burned incense to hide the smell of the weed they’d just smoked to come down from their 24 hour-cram session-Jolt-high.

I’ve always sort of swayed in and out of hardcore. After I left ROTP I took a break. Shark Attack launched me back into things, but was short lived. Next I sought refuge in LA where I found myself involved with Knife Fight and a brief but busy residency in Terror. I came home from LA/hardcore tired and burnt out. The next few years I buried my nose in books to finish college. Finally, the music bug caught me again, but this time I found myself playing Rock and Roll in the Big Apple.

I am going to be a contributor to BBHC. On what level, I don’t know. But writing about records and the possibility of some Shark Attack shows in the near future, the pendulum may be swinging back for me. Or - maybe it’s just my last stand. Regardless, here I am… watch out.


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